More joy in the present, less fear of the future

I have had a lot of "fear not faith" thoughts lately. I think it probably comes naturally to any mother. The more children I have and the more sad stories I hear from others about loss of a child or spouse, I almost get a stream of panic in me. I always feel like things like that won't happen to our family but I am sure no one ever feels like it could happen to them. All the boys are napping right now and Cody is at a training session in Chandler today. As I had some quiet time I was reading a blog of a friend of a friend of a whoever. Anyway, they had lost their baby to a rare genetic abnormality at only a month old. I cried uncontrollably relating it to my own sweet new babies and what I would do or feel if I lost any of them. I just don't know. I have tremendous faith in the will of God and know that the plan is perfect. I just can't imagine how a person gets through that. I wish I could have a great scripture right now to include to say I was a peace with it, but even now, I am a mess of tears as I type.
After I read their blog, I knew that at least one of the boys will be getting up soon so I needed to pull it together! I went in to go to the bathroom and this was the scene I walked into. Cute little shorts and underwear on the floor in front of the toilet- perfectly stepped out of and left on my floor. This meant that a half naked boy was too distracted or eager to get back to playing to remember to put on his pants. What a great reminder to me to be "present". Not to worry about what could or may happen that will be heartbreaking or devastating, but to enjoy my family. Cody and I have often talked about what a blessing a messy house is, or a rowdy child or struggling to pin a child down to get the diaper tabs in place before they bolt. All those things are sweet reminders to us that we have beautiful, healthy, active children. There was a time in our lives when we didn't know that this life we have would ever have been a possibility. So although I am certain, without doubt, I will continue to worry or let fear creep in, I wanted to write out a little reminder of my "present" and what a blessing I am living RIGHT NOW. I have looked back after each of my kids and thought, wow, I should have taken more naps when I just had one baby, how easy was that?! Or we should have been more spontaneous before we had kids. Or how funny it is that I thought it was going to be so hard when Cody got put into the bishopric when I only had Gunner. If I only knew what the next few years would bless us with. All about perspective and enjoying the present to the fullest. Bishop Salmon gave us that advice before we got married. Don't wait to be happy. Enjoy whatever stage you are in now.  I am so grateful for my boys. My husband and our sealing. I am grateful for our eternal family and the privilege I have to be here, now, and enjoying these moments. I will try not to waste today worrying about tomorrow!